• e. huntington


Updated: Sep 17

His picture popped up on her phone screen.


A million memories flooded her brain: vacations, days on the boat, the quiet moments at their houses, being in the woods just breathing. His laugh trickled across her ears and his smile flit before her eyes.

The strongest memory came from a sharp pain in her chest. The memory of a good thing, dashed away by unseen forces. Confusion because the universe - for whatever reason - spun them together only to rip them apart.

No lesson had been learned yet.

Except goneness - the inescapable despair that something would never exist the same again.

He existed.

She existed.

Them was gone.

His picture disappeared from the phone, only to reappear again.


He was drunk. He was mad. She had exposed him for who he really was, and she couldn't explain away the hurt he caused.

The memories kept coursing through her mind as her hand reached for the phone.

They had loved so deeply, but so distantly - a chemistry that lit up every room they entered and brought joy to so many lives on their adventures. But in the quiet moments, when no one else was watching, when she was far away, his demons were too strong.

Her light brought out his demons and made them scream. They clawed at his insides and whispered sweetly in his ear. All the years of his faults, his guilt - drove him mad.

He had been left unloved for so long by the people who should have loved him harder every moment - like she did. That lack of love left a shell of a man, always reaching, always searching for the fulfillment that could only come once his soul was vulnerable to it.

Her kindness was always seen as a weakness in his eyes. He fed on it.

His picture disappeared from the phone, only to reappear again.


Was it too far gone?

Her heart ached because she wanted him. She wanted the light they shared. She wanted to sit with him in his darkness and wait to unravel the chaos of a million lifetimes of pain.

But every time she tried, she was shoved off.

And a heart can only bear so much.

A soul can only give so much before the cup needs to be replenished. Sure, she could refill it herself, but that was not the point. She wanted him to. But he wouldn't. He couldn't.

She paused, her hand unconsciously coming to her heart. She was strong. She loved him. She wanted it.

Ultimately, her love was so strong, she could keep going.

Her hand reached for the phone again.

A red button pressed. A contact card open. A number blocked.

"I love you." She exhaled.


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